Another week has come and gone and quite honestly this was a week for extreme highs and lows. Coming skiing, you obviously want to do as much skiing as possible and I had to come to terms with the fact that I wouldn’t be able to ski. I had under anticipated how much my inflammed kneecap would hurt me and hadn’t given it enough time to heal before coming skiing. There is something comepletely crushing about watching everyone in your hotel go out skiing when you’re stuck in the hotel. People didn’t understand. They kept asking me why I didn’t just give it another go. I wanted to, I mean I so badly wanted to be able to ski with my Dad every day this week and it filled me with such guiilt to see him have to go off and ski on his own every day but at the same time I knew that if I did go skiing I would be in excruciating pain and I might injure myself further and not be able to walk.
I have grown a little cabin fever in being stuck in the hotel so long and it has been a struggle to keep positive when I feel so down and low. I have been trying to put on a brave face but I’m not sure how successful that’s been. I’m pretty sure my Dad can see straight threw it. We went out last night and I did that think where I forced myself out even though I didn’t want to because I wanted Dad to have a good time. He even called me out for it and I denied I was doing what he’d called me out for. I twisted my knee in the deep snow walking to the loop bar, then while in there, I remembered how painful it was to stand on an inflammed kneecap for a long period of time. I so wanted to be the fun loving, new experience woman having fun with my Dad but I actually found myself on the brink of a panic attack because I’d been trying so hard to make sure that my Dad was having a good time that I had put myself in a position that was causing me ridiculous amounts of pain.
It is not all doom and gloom. I still have all my limbs and there is a roof over my head. This holiday has been fun in that I love spending time with my Dad and always look forward to our holiday’s together but it didn’t quite go the way I wanted it to.
I did manage to read 4/6 books I bought with me. The last two are harder to read because they seem so morbid and gloomy. The language is easy to read but it kinda makes me feel a little low – which given all that I’ve felt this week, probably isn’t the best thing to read. My goal is to have read 50 books by the end of April. Considering I’m currently reading number 34, I don’t think that’s too unatainable. I have got some pretty great books lined up to read. I am very excited by all the books I have to read and am finding my reading drive at an alltime high, which is exciting for me because at the tailend of last year, I felt my excitement for books waining slightly.
This coming week I’ll be back at work and will probably spend much of Monday sifting through all the work I’m missed while on holiday. I don’t have any plans for the week so hopefully that means I can fit a lot of reading in. I’ve also missed my Xbox a fair bit so will be looking forward to recconnecting with my games on there.
Back to work means back to saving. I think I’ve done pretty well so far this week considering I’ve been on holiday. I successfully managed to pay my Dad back in full for my half of the holiday which takes a great weight off my shoulders as I hate owing people any money.
I am just shy of £2,000 saved of my mortgage deposit, for which I am immensely proud of myself.
Going back home also means the start of my exercise regime again, focused on indoor cycling and increasing that cycle time each day so that the pain in my knee is reduced and so that it becomes easier to function. I will also be going back onto a sugar free diet, which has worked well for me in the past. Combining a sugar free diet with iron rich foods should create something special and good for me.