End of 2020

So, it’s been a rough year for everyone. COVID changed all our plans and some of us managed to ride the wave through to the end and some of us drowning in the flowing water. I feel like I got through this year in a rowboat that had a leak and was missing one oar but I managed to make it to the end, and I think that’s an achievement in itself.

I didn’t reach my goal of reading 130 books and honestly that weighted heavily on me. I took a step back from the book community because I was getting too stressed about keeping up my daily posts and having something interested to talk about. Some people seem to effortlessly post on instagram and rack up followers like bees to honey, but I’ve never found that very easy. Two years on bookinsta and 300+ followers and I started to care more about why people weren’t following me rather than what I originally started the page for.

I remembered that I started it because I wanted to keep track of the books I was reading and to improve my technique of critiquing. Taking a step back and revaluating my intentions helped me to put things into perspective. Because of all the stress and anxiety I was feeling over instagram and to an extent, this blog, my reading suffered. I didn’t reach my goal of 130 because I was too caught up in emotions and other events. I have tried to learn that it is ok that I didn’t reach that goal, but with having OCD, admitting that I didn’t complete on something I wanted to, it difficult to get through my skull.

Through all the drama, the news, the fake news, the hysteria, the panic, the paranoia, and everything else, I still managed to keep walking and follow the path set out for me. I managed, with the help of my parents to secure a mortgage and move into my own flat. I managed to build up my small business a little bit and improve on my watercolour skills. I managed to study courses that allowed me to push forward my career development at work.

I was fortunate enough to live through this year in a stable and secure job and for that I am incredibly grateful. I know that not everyone was so lucky and I have tried to support my friends and family who have suffered through this year.

For 2021, I am not expecting a sudden change. I think some people think that on the first day of 2021, COVID will magically disappear. If we’re lucky, a sense of normalcy will come around in the summer but I think it is foolish to think that things will sort themselves out fully before that.

For 2021, I am not going to put too much pressure on myself to read or perform. I am not going to set ridiculous reading goals or get stressed when I don’t read much. Instead, I’m going to focus on reading only 2-3 books a week (if that), and I am going to enjoy life in a way I didn’t do in 2020. I think 2021 will be a challenging year for me. A year of managing my mortgage and living expenses without running out of money. A year of improving my prospects in my career. A year of living life to the fullest and a life where I put positivity first.

That’s what I want. A good year. A year when I excel instead of coast.

What do you wish for 2021?

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