This week has been difficult. I think it has been the first time in this new year where I have not felt the best version of myself. I have struggled this week with my insomnia, my OCD, my anxiety, my iron deficiency and my headaches.

I have struggled to make it through to the end of this week and my mind has been a constant chaotic mess. I’ve barely done any reading because I haven’t been able to focus or distract myself from what is happening around me.

I have done quite a bit of binge watching on both Amazon Prime and Netflix, and attempted some colouring to ease my mind. I have some good things to do this weekend, which will hopefully help to improve my mood.

Today (Saturday) I will be having a ‘Head in the Clouds’ massage at Champney’s City Spa with my Mum. The massage is a 25min relaxation luxury. It’s a scalp, neck and shoulder massage and it’s amazing. Then on Sunday I am going up to London for a day of shopping and girly fun with two of my friends.

Hopefully my mood with improve to the point that I can enjoy reading again and so I will be able to read again next week. I am forever reminded of the the vast number of books in my book basket and know I need to get a move on with reading them.

February is a busy month Birthday wise. I have already celebrated the birthday’s of three people with many more to follow before my own birthday at the end of the month. I am a serial gift giver and love any excuse to buy someone a gift, so you could say I am in my element here.

I managed to see a small local production of The Sound of Music this week which was a lot of fun – even if they did change the order of the songs – and went out to dinner with a couple of friends.

From the outside looking in, this week has been lovely and by no account should I be feeling as down as I am and yet I am feeling down and my outlook is not good.

Anxiety is like a wiggling worm tying itself into knots. The more it wiggles the tighter it gets, the tighter it gets the more you can’t breathe. Your brain goes around in a loop that you can’t break and you find yourself frowning a lot. The hard part for me is telling other people. I usually internalise – which I know isn’t good – yet I also can’t hide my emotions very well and if someone asks me if I’m alright, I’m likely to spill out my entire life story. Then there is the worry that what I say is going to make me look barmy or that people aren’t going to understand that what I’m feeling or struggling with is having a big impact on my life.

I have made myself an inspiring Spotify playlist of empowered and inspiring songs and have firmly placed a smile upon my face.

I’ve set myself a goal to read 3 books next week and to finish 1 colouring page and complete all my colour swatches.

I am also attempting the ’15 Day No Spend Challenge’. Last month I managed 10/15 day’s, so this week I’m hoping I can manage all 15.

My current stack of tbr books are all single books rather than books in a series. I like to read all my single tbr books before I tackle the books in a series. Which way round do you read your books? Single to series? Series to single? Or do you mix them altogether?

Whatever you are doing, I hope you all have a good weekend 🙂

Hannah xoxo