Sorry this is three days late, I had a difficult weekend but all good now!

Day Ninety – Saturday 13^th June –

I do not understand these people who have been going out to raves or congregating on the beach in packs. I understand the desire to ‘be free’ after so many weeks of confinement but people are just being silly and risking the greater population with their actions. COVID-19 will only be kicked if the individual cogs do their part for the bigger machine. Meaning, we can’t just rely on the scientists and the possibility of a vaccine coming our way. We all need to do our part in making sure that we stick to the rules set in place and remain strong enough to social distance and look after the people around us.

It worries me that people can be so disregarding of rules that are set to keep us safe. At the moment, if I leave the house, it’s to go into the office for a couple of hours, do a Sainsbury’s shop or walk the dogs but in each of those scenarios, I am always prepared to stay safe and be hygienic. I maintain a strict level of control because, while I am safe from the darker end of COVID-19, I live with someone who is at risk and the last thing I’d want to do is be guilty of passing on the virus.

COVID-19 is always a worry to me. I know I’ve been talking a lot about migraines/headaches, and what I’ve been doing during lockdown but I’m constantly thinking about the virus. I try not to talk about it too much – which you might think defeats the point of this particular blog title – but I worry about bringing the mood down too much or over focusing on something that already has a lot of attention and has the ability to make people worry more.

Aside from my worries, today has been an alright day. I didn’t have to go to Sainsbury’s today, so I actually had a nice lie-in. I had a little bit of a headache in the afternoon, but I think it was probably caused by hay fever, I had a nap which seemed to sort it out.

In the evening, we’d decided as a family to have a dance party. It was supposed to be something fun and a chance to ‘lift spirits’ after so many weeks of us all being in the house. I even bought a light disco ball (that terrified the dog!), but the party ended up being a lot of fun! My Mum did hurt her back and I did hurt my injured knee, but it was a couple of hours of giggling, dancing, and just a general good time. It really worked to perk our spirits right up again and was a lovely family bonding experience.

Day Ninety-One – Sunday 14^th June –

I found it very difficult to get to sleep last night, I was running on such a high that my mind refused to offer me peace or even let me fall asleep. It is always a concern that when I have such a happy day that I’ll be pushed into the darkness a day later, and I’m always trying to steer myself away from that as much as I can.

I didn’t wake up till 11:00am this morning, and I think I was too tired to feel any other emotion – for which I was very glad!

I spent time today making a personalised card for a family member who is currently going through a hard time, I wanted to create something that was soothing and also write a message that was comforting but not too depressing. I hope that when it arrives to my family member, it brings them some positive emotions.

I had another bad headache today, which was probably a combination of not enough sleep, low air pressure, and hay fever. I think I took 4 paracetamols in the end – though it didn’t help much – and ended up having a 2-hour nap, which did improve my mood a little.

It was my turn to cook tonight – but I did manage to rope my Dad in to help me as the recipe had A LOT of steps – and I think it turned out alright, even if I couldn’t eat it!!! (It was too garlicy for me!!)

Day Ninety-Two – Monday 15^th June –

Monday again and to be honest, I’m starting to think that I should rename the days of the week into something more exciting – stay tuned!

This week is looking like it might be slightly busier for me which will be good because it will at least give me a chance to focus my efforts on something and stay more focused throughout the week. Feeling like you’re a part of a team or a project is something that greatly motivates me, and it is something I feel I’ve been lacking in the last month or so. It will be nice to get to work on a project again and feel more valued.

The annoying thing about the wfh situation is that before my office closed, I was about to start a large project that I was heading up. It would have provided quite a bit of work for me and I was looking forward to showing off my skills and improving the finished product. Unfortunately, this isn’t a project I can do from home, it is an internal work project that requires everyone to be working in the office as usual. This is part of why my workload during lockdown has been so unpredictable, I haven’t had the required work I was expecting, and everyone is trying to find their feet on what can and can’t be done from home.

It’s frustrating to have a project and not be able to do anything with it. So, I am pleased to have a little more work this week, especially because it’s something creative. I think it will boost my mood also because working without clear goals can get a little dull after a while.

Day Ninety-Three – Tuesday 16^th June –

I have got so bored of my Spotify playlists that I’ve started to listen to random playlists that aren’t even in a style of music that I particularly like. It has offered some interesting results. Sometimes I find something I quite like, other times I wonder what I’m assaulting my ears with!

I’m trying a lot of new things that I wouldn’t usually find myself doing just to create more opportunities for uplifting moods and happiness. I mean, I’m doing what works for my own body, so if anything, I say doesn’t work for you, that’s absolutely fine.

I started watching Homecoming on Prime. It’s one of those programmes that kept advertising whenever I watched anything on Prime, so I decided enough was enough and I was going to start watching it. I’m now hallway through season 2, so you could say I REALLY enjoyed it! I just think it’s quite different from what I usually watch, and the plot is very interesting to untangle, and watch develop. Having this to focus on really helped to keep my anxiety in its box and though I’ve had a headache today, it wasn’t overly painful and focusing on something, even if it is TV, can sometimes have a positive effect on my head pain.

I especially needed to have something to focus on today because there has been maintenance to the road I live on today. All the houses on my road care for the maintenance between them because our road isn’t owned by the council – actually no one can work out who it is owned by – and it isn’t concrete, it’s stoned, so upkeep is essential. Anyway, there was a roller machine going up and down all day, it was very loud and had a vibrating effect to the house. It wasn’t actually making my headache any better, and it was an odd sound to hear, so having something new to watch and get into really helped once 5pm came.

Day Ninety-Four – Wednesday 17^th June –

I have got really obsessed with ‘State of Survival: Zombies’ on my phone. It’s basically a strategy-based game with rewards and achievements – which I completely thrive on – and I can’t stop playing it! It’s probably quite sad really but I’m terribly into it. Even my Mum gave me a look when I told her I was playing it!

Took the dogs on a lovely walk today. Freddie even managed to keep up and there weren’t too many people out. It is really uplifting and joyous to be able to walk in such a vast area close to home. The heath is an area that rejuvenates me – especially during this time – I feel very lucky and grateful to live in an area that has such greenness around it. Getting out for part of the day makes all the difference.

I have been madly trying to find green card in a suitable colour and size. I’m making a set of cards for my sister for her partner’s birthday. You would think that green cards and envelopes would be an easy thing to find. You would also be wrong!! I ordered two packs that turned out to be ridiculously wrong! I have just ordered another pack from Amazon that looks promising but really, I’ve been able to find cardstock in every colour so why not a light green??

Day Ninety-Five – Thursday 18^th June –

Today was actually an alright day. I was strangely busy. I say strangely because my workload has been up and down since working from home so the routine, I used to have in my job in now non-existent. It can be a little daunting to be so easily ripped from a routine you’ve had for several years and it was definitely a learning curve trying to mark out my new space. In some ways I feel like my workload has benefited from working from home, and that I have been recognised as an important member of the team with a wide variety of skills. I don’t think I was necessarily recognised as a valuable member of the team before lockdown began.

However, there is also more of a battlefield to manage. Office dramas have become stay at home dramas. Some people have become easier to manage while others have become more annoying than running out of toilet roll!! I suppose it is interesting to see clearly how the social distancing has affected the colleagues around me and how some have become better versions while others have become worse.

I know that everyone is different and as such, we have all reacted to this pandemic in a different way. I suppose I just can’t understand the mind set of some people and the actions they think are acceptable.

It has got to the point that I am thinking of putting an automatic response on my email to remind people that I am not at their beck and call just because they need something from the office. I suppose you could say I’m putting my foot down but really I want people to realise that I might need to self-distance as well and just because I am the office Administrator and live locally, doesn’t mean I should put myself and my family at risk so you can get a document printed.

Anyway, enough of that.

I haven’t read all week! I feel like a failure! I’ve just been so busy with work and then in the evenings I’ve been busy being creative with so many ideas for my Etsy Shop. I think the goal of books I had to read for June will probably be left unfulfilled!! I should be happy with the books I’ve read – believe me I know – but I made myself a list and looking at an unfinished list works my OCD up. It causes anxiety.

Day Ninety-Six – Friday 19^th June –

Terrible migraine today that’s making me feel quite sick and dizzy. The pollen count is very high today and the air pressure is very low. I didn’t sleep well last night either and my knee is quite painful, so not a good start to the day.

I tried to phone my doctor to discuss my medication but forgot that he doesn’t work on Fridays!!! So, I have to wait and phone back on Monday now! Either my migraine medication or my hay fever medication needs to be altered.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to go into the office today, so I got to take my time with my workload and work in a way that didn’t further anger the migraine.

I am glad it is the weekend as I don’t feel like I have had enough time to sleep lately.