Day Ninety-Seven – Saturday 20th June –
I woke today with a level 2 headache and I could have almost run outside naked and done a celebration dance!! Honestly, having a headache this low is SO rare! I was quite taken by surprise!
It was a mixture kind of day today. I had intended to just spend the day reading but I ended up doing that and painting cards, designing cards, playing xbox, napping and socialising with my parents. It was a relaxing chilled day and honestly, it’s just what I needed really. I feel a little recharged and more ready to face the coming days.
Sometimes you just need to take time for yourself and remember that doing so isn’t selfish or something to feel guilty over. We all need time to rejuvenate ourselves and we all do that in different ways.
I had a slightly stressful evening which I may or may not mention about tomorrow, but I am lucky that I was in a happy and safe environment and around people that were able to help me through what was happening. Hopefully I’ve been given enough support so that my brain will allow me to sleep tonight and not keep me up with rambling looping thoughts!
Day Ninety-Eight – Sunday 21st June –
I worried a lot about what I was going to write about today and whether I should just gloss over things or detail them. I’ve decided to just write honestly. I had a lot of anxiety about today. Not because of Father’s Day. My Dad loved his gift and we had a very happy family day.
I woke up with a migraine, dizziness, and sickness, with my stress shoulder injury acting up and my knee feeling very painful. Family visited for a social distancing lunch which always gives me a little anxiety because I never know what I’m going to be faced with and I find family can be a little unpredictable at times. I don’t know how far I need my guard to be up.
No, the route of my problems was a multitude of things – the weather, the pollen, the prospect of social interaction…but mostly it was a phone call I would be having in the evening.
I know we would all like to wish that we stay on good terms with our ex-boyfriends or girlfriends but if we speak honestly, that is rarely true.
I split from my ex-boyfriend in 2016 and it was as amicable as it could be. We didn’t work as a couple. A couple of months after our breakup he began stalking me on social media and through messenger and I ended up blocking him. He tried to contact me a couple of times through the years, but I always stayed away.
He messaged me yesterday and asked to talk and as I read the message, I realised I had a chance to help someone, and regardless of the anxiety and stress it would emotionally put me through, I couldn’t turn down someone who needed help I could give.
To put it in a nutshell, my ex-boyfriend had an accident that left him with broken bones and a level 2 brain injury. In the years that have passed, he has actually been working through what has happened to him and become more open about mental health in general. His memory from January of 2016 to April-ish is very spotty. He wanted to talk to me to understand some of what went on during that time he doesn’t remember.
I tried to keep the conversation professional. I let him tell me what he needed, and I tried not to get too personal or overshare as I gave advice and knowledge. I also gave him some tips to help with OCD and mental health in general. We talked for 45minutes and it was really hard, but I recognised that we were both different people. I wasn’t equipped to deal with him when it happened, but I am older now and wiser and I have more experience. I could talk to him without being judgemental of the past. I understood much of what happened to him after the accident and before we broke up, even if I couldn’t deal with it.
I think chatting to him was the right thing to do. I’m a big believer of helping others and I couldn’t live with myself if I had just ignored his message. I hope that he continues with his recovery and gets to a place where he can accept what has happened to him and move on from it.
Day Ninety-Nine – Monday 22nd June –
My MacBook was so slow starting up this morning! I have no idea why as there is hardly any programmes on it, but whatever, I got there eventually. It was kind of difficult to work this morning because Luca insisted on sitting on my lap. He was being clingy because my Mum was downstairs doing Pilates and she’d shut the door. To Luca, the dog, that was worse than not being taken out for a walk! At least he didn’t start howling, which he has done before!
In the office this afternoon and I had to wrestle with the Canon Plotter printer. I mean, if you’d been standing next to me you would have laughed as I got increasingly more annoyed and sweary! I managed to change the ink relatively easy, but would it print for me? NO. I ended up having to talk to my colleague, our IT Manager, to work out what on earth had happened. It took a while to get things working again.
I got to see one of my colleagues who I haven’t seen since lockdown began so it was nice to have a socially distanced chat with them.
Day One Hundred – Tuesday 23rd June –
It was my Mum’s birthday today, so I woke up with giddy excitement. I love giving gifts to other people and my Mum is one of the people I enjoy spoiling the most. She seemed to love the presents I got her, so that was a win!
It is very hot today and it’s only going to get hotter!! It’s the kind of heat where you really can’t do anything and where I expect to melt into a puddle of goo at any given moment!
I picked up my new prescription today, I’ve gone from 150 to 180mg in my hay fever medication and though I know it will take a week for there to be a noticeable difference, I hope that this change will bring down the increase of migraines, otherwise I’m going to have to call my doctor again and talk through what other options I have.
Mum and I managed a trip out of the house today – though not to take the dogs for a walk! – we headed to our local wine shop. I managed to persuade Mum to let me buy her a bottle of gin as an extra birthday present! I practically had to bat her away to get my card in before hers.
My sister and her partner came around for afternoon tea and we sat, socially distanced in the garden to celebrate my Mum’s birthday. They stayed super late in the end and I was so hungry for dinner! My Dad whipped up some pasta for us, but I got the most violent hiccups and then started to feel rather sick and didn’t eat any of it! I think one of the delicious cakes didn’t agree with me because it was the only thing, I ate today that I wouldn’t usually eat. It was also incredibly sickly sweet, and I regretted eating it in the first place!!
Day One Hundred and One – Wednesday 24th June –
All today I have felt like life would be better if I was buried in ice. It has been so hot, and I have honestly felt like melting and giving up. Up in my workspace, I had the windows fully open and the curtains drawn and yet I still felt like I was slowly sticking to my chair.
Ironically, I was very busy this morning, so got hotter still with my computer and computer tray on my lap. I’ve started to get sweat on the back of my knees which seems a bizarre place to get sweat anyway…I don’t know whether it’s because I’m getting older or whether my body is just trying to be more unique. Either way, it’s weird!
My Mum had friends over in the afternoon for a social distanced chat and while I stopped by to say hello, I couldn’t face sitting outside for too long. The hay fever/heat headache came on at 3pm and intensified throughout the evening. I was lucky that I only had the pain through the afternoon and evening because I would have been beyond grumpy and bitter if I’d had it all day.
I didn’t think it could get any hotter, but I was proved wrong in the evening. It was a bit exciting really because my Dad’s vaccine trial was fronting the BBC news at 6pm, so that was a very proud moment to watch.
I still think the government is being slightly idiotic in reducing the lockdown measures so soon. I think we can all see from the mass gatherings at beaches, parks, protests, and shops, that the second wave will come quicker than expected. I understand the government is reducing lockdown in an attempt to save the economy, but they are playing with lives a little and not listening to the scientific advice.
I had to get a sheet out to sleep under tonight. I also spent about 40minutes trying to kill the 1 mosquito that had found itself in my room. I did eventually kill it but I’m not holding much hope in sleeping well tonight.
I did, however, finish a book: Six Wicked Reasons by Jo Spain – review to follow!
Day One Hundred and Two – Thursday 25th June –
Not going to lie, I’m sweating in places I didn’t even know I could sweat! How can today be hotter than yesterday? It seems impossible! I was able to use the heat to my advantage today, in between working on spreadsheets and answering phone calls, I managed to paint the outside of a box white – for a commission I’m working on. Painting two layers of white paint took no time at all in the hot unforgiving heat!
I’m in the office this afternoon, which makes the heat worse because the office is made of wood and there is no aircon. I’ve pulled my blackout blind fully down and have the windows wide open but it’s honestly not making much of a difference. I thought my time in the office today would be quick, but it looks like I might be here a long while!! Things always come up unexpectedly.
I have 12 boxes of A4 paper in my car for the office. I managed to carry 4 to just inside the office building before I gave up! They’re too heavy and I’m too weak to carry them. Have had to ask one of the boys for help!
I started reading another book: The Woods by Vanessa Savage. It’s been on my shelf a while now, I’m 133 pages in and so far, it’s pretty good, dark and compelling.
It is too hot to function, and you guessed it, it’s now hay fever/heat headache time! I am committed to lying on my bed like a slug and playing xbox games. I downloaded a lot yesterday from game pass that I now want to try out – though I can’t actually remember what I downloaded!
Day One Hundred and Three – Friday 26th June –
Considering how hot it was last night, I managed to sleep relatively well. I did wake with a minor headache but nothing that wasn’t manageable. I am so relieved that this is the last day of the hot, hot weather. It is supposed to get cooler next week with lots of rain.
I am supposed to go into the office on Friday afternoons but after being in yesterday and almost dying in the sweltering heat, I can’t bring myself to go again. The thing about an office made of wood is that in the heat, it’s like a sauna. Unless I get an email requesting something from the office, I will be working from home today.
I haven’t even got dressed! I had a shower and I don’t think I could have survived without one! But I’ve just changed into a clean nighty, one that is comfy and airy. I can’t even think of putting normal clothes on. It’s just too hot!
Even Luca, the beige menace who loves to sleep out in the sun is too hot. I caught him last night, buried in the toys on my bed, trying to get cool. Freddie on the other hand, must have gained 3 levels of brown, tanning so long while lying on the soil in the veggie patch.
I never liked the heat before my corrective surgery, and I seem to like it even less now. Though I am better equipped to deal with it, my body just naturally shies away from the heat. I’m better adapted to cold weather.
I don’t really have any plans for the weekend. Of course, I’d like to do some reading and perhaps finish off some cards. I am supposed to be cooking over the weekend, but I haven’t decided what to cook yet, so flicking through recipe books will be a job for tonight, I think. I’ve been cooking Italian dishes – because I love Italian food – so will have to get out the masses of Italian cookbooks I have and find something good!
I’ve got really into ‘the pasta queen’ on Tik Tok, her pasta recipes are SO yummy and super easy to make. I’ve made three of her recipes now and if I want a quick and delicious meal, I always seek out her page.
I ordered some more metallic watercolours from my favourite Etsy shop: PrismPaints – I’m very excited for them to come. I’m quite a creature of loyalty. When I find something I like, I generally don’t stray from it. Becky at PrismPaints has become my go to girl for any metallic watercolours. I love the consistency and thickness of her paints and the colours are always so vibrant. I’m working on a series of mini thank you cards now, and the metallics are really popping on the coloured card.
It bums me out a little that the boxes I originally opened my Etsy shop for, are left unpurchased. I have an entire box of them! But I’m also happy that I found a market for my cards and that I’ve been getting a constant stream of purchases and very positive feedback. It is encouraging me to be bolder and design more creatively.
I am hopeful that I will finish The Woods by Vanessa Savage today. It’s a book I can’t seem to tear myself away from. It’s so twisted and dark. There are so many elements going on and I have A LOT of theories, but I can’t quite suss out the characters yet.
Lastly, the people who have flocked to beaches in droves, the people who have blocked all sand by their sheer number in the UK are complete idiots. Clearly these people don’t care that there is still a pandemic happening and that the virus is very much active. I understand the joy of lockdown being more relaxed, but these actions are just quickening the arrival of the second wave. The government’s decision to relax the lockdown comes from a drive to save our economy and not from listening to scientific advice or keeping the population of the UK safe.
I am truly astounded by how selfish some people can be and how ignorant they can act. People need to remember the wider picture, just because you yourself may not be affected doesn’t mean the people around you will fare the same.
Stay safe everyone and think about what you’re doing!